++++Accentuate the Positive++++

Taking a shower for the first time in over four days is an amazing feeling. I don't know that I'll take a shower for granted for a long time. I've been here for just about four days and I'm settling in, I guess you could say. I've got books (including the latest Harry Potter), a cross stitch, a Bible, a Beth Moore Bible study, cable tv, my laptop, a mix cd that my niece made for me, and my cell phone. I've gotten to see my sweet husband and our sweet girls at least once every day. I've had many phone calls and several visitors. I can sleep as late as I want. Can you tell I'm working on remaining positive? Thanks for you prayers.

On being on bed rest...

...I knew it may happen, dreaded it even! This past Monday night, I started to bleed and went straight to the hospital, as my doctor had instructed. I was admitted and the bleeding stopped shortly thereafter. However, I'm here at the hospital, on bedrest, for the long haul...probably 3 or 4 weeks. That is, unless I start bleeding again. At that point I'd have a c-section regardless of how far along I am. I'm 33 weeks right now, so they're hoping to get to 36 or 37.
So, I blog from my hospital bed and am so thankful for my laptop and wireless internet service in the hospital.
*I'm also thankful that we changed health insurance, so that I can be at this different hospital that is only 15-20 minutes away from home, rather than the 30-40 minutes that it took to get to the hospital where the girls were born.
*I'm thankful that Duncan's mom was with us to help while my family was away on vacation. Because she was with us, and had been for four days already, we were able to walk out the door with out even giving her any instructions. We knew we were leaving the girls in good hands. Since she was with us, Duncan has been able to spend the night with me the last two nights. God was so good to have set all of this up for us.
*I'm thankful that the nursing staff here is WONDERFUL and that I've felt their empathy, received their care and experienced their compassion. I'm also thankful that many of them have no problem telling me that I could have it worse...helping me to keep things in perspective.
*I'm thankful for my sweet husband who is so good to me. Words can't even express.
*I'm thankful for my sweet little girls who come to visit me, Violet with her smiles and fingers to "tickle, tickle" my toes and Amelie who is being so brave and kind to me. She insisted on saving bits of her cookie for me, so that I could eat it when the doctor said I was allowed to eat. When I was told I was getting food, she handed each bit to me, only taking a bite of one of them=). She wipes my tears when it's time to say goodbye and sits in my bed with me for the majority of her visit. Man I miss my little girls.
This is just the beginning. I haven't even been here for 48 hours. I pray that God will use this time to draw me closer to Him...to help me gain perspective on life...to glorify Him.
If you're in the area, stop on by. I'm here and probably will be for a while.

Please forgives these brief posts, with monotonous theme, but I just had to share this new equation that works...for now, at least:

31 weeks pregnant + no eating past 7pm + no nap + extra pillow under head = 2 AWESOME nights of sleep in a row

Praise the Lord!!

I can honestly say that last night was the best night's sleep I've had in a loooooonnnnnng time. Praise Jehovah! Have a good Lord's Day.

Why am I surprised every time when I'm this pregnant and I can't sleep? I just can't get comfortable. I've slept for a few hours, at least, tonight, but now I'm awake and I can't fall back asleep. I'll have to go a try our big, red chair again, I guess...

At Long Last, Number 100

Note: Several days ago, I started this list and got up to about 75. I saved it (after it had been auto saved every minute, for hours, by blogger) and took a break. When I returned, I found that only up to 22 or 23 had been saved. I was INCREDIBLY discouraged, as you can imagine, but have decided to have another go at it. These days, I'm working hard at being thankful, in general. Kind of funny to have the previously mentioned experience, while actively striving to be thankful. Certainly stretched me in the area of being full of thanks and NOT complaining...

In no particular order, 100 things that I am thankful for...

1. air conditioning
2. my college education
3. my darling Amelie
4. my sweet Violet
5. my anticipated _ _ _ _ _
6. my incredible, supportive, encouraging, tolerant, helpful, funny, wonderful husband
7. friends with whom I can laugh and cry
8. our church family
9. helpful and supportive parents
10. in-laws that love us and care for us
11. next-door neighbors that were friends before they were our neighbors
12. my washer and dryer
13. my body pillow
14. preventative health care
15. our pastor and his wife
16. Jesus dying for me, a most miserable and wretched sinner
17. comfortable furniture to sit on
18. the internet
19. the grace that the Lord bestows upon me the I DO NOT deserve
20. Duncan's job
21. Duncan's commute (or lack thereof)
22. the solid, Biblical preaching we are privileged to hear every single week
23. my college experience
24. the travels I did in my youth
25. especially my two trips to Honduras which drastically shaped how I view the world and my place in it
26. the Episcopal church I attended in college, where the entire Gospel was preached and people actually believed the Bible
27. the leaders of our church
28. chocolate
29. the fact that my children have 11 older cousins, most of which adore them
30. other peoples' blogs and their encouragement to me
31. the older members of our church that are so encouraging to us
32. the fun that Duncan and I have together
33. the fact that we have a reliable mail system
34. and reliable phone service
35. my refrigerator
36. extended family that are so generous of their time and resources
37. the fact that when I go to the grocery store, the shelves are full
38. e-mail
39. my dishwasher
40. feeling my baby move
41. Duncan's integrity
42. Amelie's sense of humor
43. Violet's developing personality
44. Pine Springs Camp
45. our wedding
46. our marriage
47. Duncan's friends from high school
48. my experience teaching in public school-- the people I met and the experiences I had
49. the incredible woman of faith, who was also chock full of wisdom, that was my teaching partner for two and half years
50. the phrase: "and the world will keep spinning" that she taught me, to keep a proper perspective on life
51. Netflix
52. the ability to stay at home and raise my children
53. the flexibility of Duncan's job
54. the satisfaction that Duncan has from his new job
55. the fact that the majority of my children's clothes have come as hand-me-downs or gifts
56. that when my children need something, I can go the store/go online and get it
57. our backyard
58. my Bible study from this past year
59. my adopted family in college whose home was a refuge to me on more than one occasion
60. Young Life in high school--where I first heard the truth of the Gospel
61. the TiVo that Duncan made (yes made--I was kind of annoyed by the whole thing for a while, but now that it's functional, I LOVE it!!)
62. our first year of marriage in State College and the community we had there
63. our second year of marriage, living with my parents and saving like crazy for this house
64. our 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th years of marriage, in this house
65. our van and its flexibility
66. e-bay and the fun I've had with THE dress
67. Ikea
68. the toys my children have to play with
69. the books my children have to read
70. the public library
71. Chick-fil-A
72. the Bible
73. the Wiggles
74. flavored, unsweetened seltzer
75. running water
76. electricty
77. hot showers
78. heat in the winter time
79. Crocs
80. coffee
81. never having to worry about what I'm going to wear
82. the remote starter on our Malibu
83. the promise of eternal life in heaven
84. tea parties
85. digital pictures and their seeming limitlessness--as long as you back them up =)
86. cell phones
87. Duncan's new goatee that he grew just for me
88. the autumn
89. whipped cream
90. half-caf grande vanilla americanos from Starbucks
91. the color purple (not the book/movie, while they're good, I mean the color)
92. Sandra Boynton books
93. PBS
94. the willingness of others to help me and support me while I'm not very able-bodied during this pregnancy
95. our reclaimed space where our shed once was in our backyard
96. two eyes that see
97. two ears that hear
98. two legs that walk
99. flowers
100. so many things for which I can be thankful...

So, what are you thankful for? I challenge each of you to actively think about it, at the very least.
Here's to the next 100!

An Exercise in Randomness

1. Last month, on June 17th, which was also Fathers' Day and the day we had a 60th birthday party for Duncan's mom, we had our 7th wedding anniversary. I'm not going to say we celebrated it, because we really haven't yet. But the last 2 years, we celebrated in October for various reasons. With this baby boy coming in September, I think it'll at least be October before we celebrate the 7 wonderful years we've been married.
2. I'm nearing week 30 of this pregnancy, which makes me very excited. I'm seriously struggling with wishing the summer away. (He comes the complaining, chrissiek!!) I just feel so useless around the house and with the kids. I have such a hard time doing the littlest things. I very much look forward to being able to run around with the kids and not always needing to sit down after I pick up something off of the floor. I feel guilty for not simply reveling in this time of (relatively) uneventful nights of sleep, doing all things toddler, and just plain being a family of four. Always something to work on, I guess.
3. On July 4th, we bought and set up bunk beds for the girls. Amelie's on the bottom, which is just her old mattress and box spring laying on the floor. You see, it's technically a loft bed. But at the store, they showed a mattress on the floor of the underneath part, so we took that idea and ran with it. Violet will eventually sleep there. Amelie is getting really good at climbing up and down by herself. Once she's perfected it, she can start sleeping on the top. Oh, and we didn't get the tent. With our slanted ceilings, it wouldn't fit well. We were thrilled that this bed was so short that it fits under the slant in their room. A picture of the slant that I'm talking about is above on that pre-Amelie's birth photo of their room.
4. Amelie starts swimming lessons next week. Next week I also have my next sonogram (to check on my placenta--has it migrated?), glucose tolerance test (yuck!), and regular check up with the ob.
5. The week after that, we have our hospital tour. I've been there to visit people, but I've never had a baby at this hospital. I'm very excited, especially with it being half the distance from our house as the hospital where the girls (and their mom) were born.
6. I need to complete Amelie's pre-school paper work and she needs to get her very first school physical! I'm very excited about her having this school experience. Since she's so timid socially, I think it will really stretch her, in a good way.
7. We bought a new sleeper sofa for our t.v. room. Every time I've been pregnant, I've complained about it and every time, we've talked about replacing it...but never have. My sister bought it, second-hand, nearly 20 years ago. The people that she bought it from had to have had it for at least 10 years before that! Needless to say, it owes us nothing. We took advantage of the July 4th sales this past weekend, but have to wait until at least August 9th before it'll be delivered. Exciting to anticipate, at least.
8. Violet has another eye procedure scheduled for August 20th, as long as I'm not on bedrest. This time the doctor will do the balloonplasty and/or insert tubes. I'm slightly anxious about it, but not nearly as much as the last time. I look forward to her living a eye gook-free life. We had a taste it for 2 weeks and 1 day following the first procedure.

So that's it. Eight random things, that I'm sure you've been wondering about. Tee hee. Next up, Post 100.

What Have we Been Up To?

As promised, some photos from our trip up north--


Ducky and Amelie checking out the water wheel at Findley Lake.









Our Cottage--The Silver Lily










Daddy and Violet waiting to leave for church on Father's Day.










Amelie blowing bubbles into the lake.









Being goofy at a local, yummy restaurant called Pie in the Sky.






After being away for a week, we jumped into our church's Music and Bible Camp. Some members of our church developed this camp from scratch and we did it in place of a canned VBS program which always has parts that need to be rewritten anyway. The theme was "Joy In The Gates" and two of the psalms that they focused on were Psalm 51 and Psalm 150. They found some really incredible music to go along with it and it turned out wonderfully. I just helped in the nursery, but it's always fun to be a part of it.

On Wednesday, I had a follow-up sonogram. (My first was at 16 weeks and I am now at 28 weeks.) Duncan was able to make it this time. We were able to see our little guy again--even some of those 3D pictures! I got some unfortunate news, however. Apparently I have placenta previa and am at risk for placenta accreta because of my previous c-sections. The perinatologist will be seeing me for sonograms every few weeks to see if the placenta has migrated (unlikely at this point but definitely possible) and to see if the placenta has started to embed itself into the uterus.
I'm struggling with many things in all of this. A worst-case scenario would be a hysterectomy immediately after the baby is born. And it all just SOUNDS scary. Another is that the doctor indicated he didn't want me out of the area of the hospital. ("You live in Bowie? I wished you lived closer.") So that means no Canaan Valley vacation with my side of the family in August. (We go every other year.) I am VERY disappointed about this!! It brings me to tears when I think about not being able to go. Also I'm struggling with feeling completely useless and will for potentially several months. The doctor did not put me on bed rest and told me not to be an invalid, however he did tell me to take it easy. But I feel very vulnerable and as if I should be very cautious. It all makes one not want to go through this again, I can assure you!
Boy am I rambling. Please just pray if you think of it. Pray that the placenta would migrate and that if it doesn't that accreta wouldn't develop.
I'm working on being thankful for medical technology, that we can know and be prepared--and that the doctors can be prepared. My anxiety is kicking in again and Duncan keeps telling me to "find the joy" in life rather than continuing to focus on the what ifs. I'm trying...

Been away for a week. Just got back late last night. Will update soon, with pictures of our wonderful vacation to Findley Lake, NY/Erie, PA. Does this count as a post toward my 100?

How cool is that?

(Click on it to make it larger.)

And I guess at 8:09 pm, we could add "and three hours." Thank goodness for silly things like Lilypie Tickers to make these kinds of things known!

12th Anniversary

Speaking of milestones, I'm pretty sure it was 12 years ago today that I met my sweet husband. "Who's that one with the long hair? He's cute." These were just some of the thoughts that went through my head that evening. We actually met playing elbow tag. (Highly fun, by the way, for those of you that work with youth.) He linked onto me. "Hi, I'm Duncan." "I'm Nancy." And that was it. Later on in that evening, we played a game that required everyone to lay down in a field, parallel to one another. The the first person began rolling over everyone and each subsequent person followed suit. I think it's called steamroller. He apologized to me numerous times after that game, telling me that he must have hurt me at the way I sounded as he went over me. I do remember it being an awfully uncomfortable game, in more ways than one, but I didn't remember any one person hurting me in any particular way. So that's how it began. We were at camp staff orientation, by the way, for those of you who don't know how we met and were wondering why a 19 year old girl and and a 21-year old boy were playing such games.
It would be nearly two and a half years before we began dating and just over five years before me were married. I know he'll make fun of me for remembering this. But I can't help it.

100th, er I mean, 94th post!! Woohoo!!

Recently, I've been building up to my 100th post, which, I thought, would be this one. As I went through my "archives," to get some inspiration for creating my 100th, I realized that I had several "drafts" of posts that were included in the 100. They were actually earlier versions of things that were eventually posted. Needless to say, when I deleted these bogus posts, it brought me down to 94. So, the pressure is off. I have six more posts to go until I need to make a big deal out of posting 100 times. Phew. Now I can go and scrub some toilets without a care in the world.

God is STILL so good...

...even though it seems that Violet's tear duct procedure may have failed. Have any other parents wished so much that their kid "just" had pink eye? She woke up this morning with green crusty eyelashes, reminicent of the morning two weeks and two days ago--and the majority of mornings for the entirety of her life before that. Major bummer. That's what everyone keeps saying, including me. And it is. However, I've been trying to realign my perspective all day long. I've been telling myself all day that this is not a big deal. In the grand scheme of life, it really isn't. Tomorrow, I'll be calling the doctor to find out what we need to do next. Pray for wisdom and pray for healing. I believe God is capable of healing her without more surgery. But regardless of what happens in this situation, GOD IS STILL GOOD. That's my point. And I praise Him for that.
Onto lighter things...some of my favorites of the past weeks:

Here, Violet worked very hard to get into her little seat. You can see she's quite pleased. She can often be seen holding two objects from the play kitchen--a cup and a spoon, a bowl and a fork, or a pan and a ladle (as seen in this shot). She stirs and eats. It's so dang cute.




Amelie and Violet "cleaned out" these cute toy storage bins I purchased recently and then thought it would be fun to sit in them. Violet looks drunk, but I love it because it shows them doing something together, which is getting more and more frequent these days--much to Amelie's delight.





This is the first day at the pool this season. My adorable WHITE family loves the pool. We've already been six times since Memorial day!








Duncan set up the sprinkler on a hot Sunday afternoon and Amelie and William had a blast. Violet, on the other hand, was quite offended at the water that snuck up on her as she played.







These next two are just goofy shots that I think are fun.




Violet shaking the dotters.










Amelie's extremely goofy face. She LOVES her sunglasses.





In other news, Duncan started his new job last weeks and it extremely satisfied. Even better, their moving from Annapolis to Bowie on Monday (a few weeks late, he was supposed to start there)--a twenty minute commute down to five. Rock the house! He'll MAYBE have to fill up his gas tank once every other week--how cool is that?

God is So Good

This morning, as I stepped into the shower, this song came to mind:

God is so good,
God is so good,
God is so good,
He's so good to me.

And He most certainly is. He's so good--far beyond what I deserve. These last few weeks, I've been struggling so with anxiety and depression, as I've transitioned medication because of the pregnancy (from Paxil, an SSRI, to Wellbutrin, for those in the know) and, at the same time, anticipated (dreaded?) Violet's eye surgery. I've had countless "What ifs?" go through my mind and it's been exhausting. Today, I praise God for sustaining me throughout the last few weeks, and for bringing Violet through the surgery. It was the best possible outcome--they had to do the minimum (only probing of the left eye--no intubation or balloonplasty or moving of bones and nothing to the right eye) and there have been no complications.

So, am I the only weirdo that brings a camera when their child has a medical procedure done? Maybe I was just trying to convince myself of how great it would be. Regardless, I took a few shots that I've posted below.

We left my parents' house at 5am (We slept there so neither Amelie nor her dear grandparents had to get get up so early.) and drove to Johns Hopkins. We arrived at the 3rd floor of the Wilmer Eye Institute at 6am. Here is Violet, in her peach hospital gown, watching Rugrats (or something equally age-inappropriate, yet distracting) while waiting to be called for surgery. I took this photo at 6:24 am.



These are the ridiculously huge booties they gave us to put on her. We were called to surgery at 7:00am. We waited, along with other patients and their families, for about 30 minutes. When it was our turn, Duncan went back with the doctors and got to hold Violet until she was asleep. He came out to the waiting room at about 7:45am. Before 8:30am, the doctor came out to tell us how successful the procedure had been. At about 9:15, I got to go into the recovery room and be with her when she woke up.


Here, we're back in the pre-op room at 10:40 am, yet now I guess we could call it the post-op room since it was after the surgery. Here we watched Nick Jr's Fairy Tale Extravaganza while Violet ingested about a half gallon of apple juice. We had to wait about two and a half hours following the surgery, just to make sure she was o.k. to go home.





Upon release, Violet got to eat strawberries, cheerios, and a cookie in the hospital cafeteria. We weren't even out of downtown Baltimore by the time our little patient was asleep.







Amelie liked the sunglasses Violet got in her (obviously) generic discharge kit from the Wilmer Eye Institute. She seems to be doing her best glaucoma patient impression in this photo.







So thank you for your prayers (and for your encouraging comment, chris f!) Please praise God with me for His goodness and mercy.

Please Pray

Just a quick post to let you know that our Violet Ella is having her tear duct surgery tomorrow morning at 7:30 am. This is a quick, out-patient procedure that requires general anesthesia. Please pray that it would be successful and that the Lord would relieve my anxiety. Thank you!!

Cleaning off the camera again...

Duncan opening his birthday presents with the girls. We gave him a wheelbarrow (red--Amelie's choice) and an umbrella and stand for our outside table.






From just about an hour ago, Daddy came home for lunch and got to read a story to the girls. (Notice the dresses! Gotta love them!!)

[Note: The first two pictures were from two different day. I promise Duncan doesn't wear the same outfit to work every day.]




Tea Party with chocolate milk and Teddy Grahams. What could be better? (Thanks again for the birthday present, Aunt Karen--none of the tea set has been consumed!)








Violet gets her quilt from Ducky!












Violet LOVES her quilt from Ducky!!










Two ballerinas--I love the look on Violet's face in this one.

A Rendez-Vous with Mr. Yuck

Amelie now "rests" in the afternoon, instead of napping. Could she still nap? Absolutely. Do we want her to be up until 10:00 every night? Absolutely not.
So today, while Amelie was "resting," I was gardening. (Or beginning the "how-long-can-plants-go-without-water-before-they-die" experiment.) She appeared at the screen door with a present for me. It was a picture on a sheet of her ducky notepad. My heart melted and I told her to get some shoes on and to come outside. As she approached me, arm outstretched, I noticed that her face wasn't quite right. The color orange was smeared on either side of her mouth. "What is that all over your face?" "Orange paint from my art supplies." (thanks again for the Christmas gift, Aunt Karen=))"Were you eating it?" "No, I was just licking it."
*sigh*
Needless to say, after a call to daddy and to poison control, I learned that orange pee and poop is all we have to look forward to. Amelie was scared out of her mind (sob, sob, "am I gonna die?" sob, sob) which hopefully taught her a lesson.

I love being the mom of a 3 year-old

This evening, Amelie was sitting on my lap while I was reading a story to the girls before bed. Amelie stopped me, mid-sentence and said, "Mommy, your legs are spicy this day." Darn shorts weather. Just when Duncan seems to have gotten used to (or is just resigned to) my having not-so-smooth legs for much of life, someone else is going to start complaining. She'll understand. One day.

This happened not even a mile, as the crow flies, from our home. Super scary.

Ho Hum

I've been so uninspired of late. Don't know why. Guess I'll just share some of the highlight of life these days--
*We've been playing outside a ton and eating outside as well on our "new" patio. The addition of an umbrella for our table (a b-day present for Duncan) has been lots of fun.
*Violet's tear duct surgery is scheduled for Monday, May 21st in the wee hours of the morning. It's out-patient but requires general anesthesia. This mommy is SCARED TO DEATH of that part of it. If you're a praying person, please pray.
*Duncan recently received 2 job offers (one for a company here and one for a company in Pittsburgh, for which he'd be telecommuting). He took the one here after MUCH consideration! He's VERY excited and will start the Tuesday after Memorial Day. Praise God!
*Ducky and Grandpa Bob came for a visit last weekend after their two previous attempts had been foiled. They were snowed in both at Amelie's birthday and at Easter! Their visit was short, but very sweet.
*I won The Dress in Amelie's size a couple of days ago. We're excited to get it in the mail soon!
*Our new van is awesome and our Saturn is just about sold. It's just a matter of paper work and such. We're selling it to a graduating high school senior in our church. I'm so glad we'll be able to keep tabs on the first card Duncan and I bought together!
*We had the Etners over for a visit this past Sunday. It was great fun to see baby Dylan!! (oh yeah, and his mom and dad too =).)
*I'm at the mid-point in my pregnancy already. I can hardly believe it!
*Amelie is developing her imagination and personality more and more. She makes us laugh so much!
*Violet's language continues to explode. Just this morning, upon seeing Amelie's stuffed cat on the kitchen table, she exclaimed, "kitty!" That was a new one!!
*I continue to struggle with housekeeping, routine, self discipline, productivity, etc. It's just more fun to have a tea party or to blow bubbles!
Life is good. Thanks for checking in with me.